02 September 2013

let's just pause for a moment

I WISH there was a use-by-date for grieving. A rule that says grieving ceases after a period of time. That five years after my parents have passed away, I would remember them and it wouldn’t hurt as much.
That, when my 10-year old went on his first camping trip, I didn’t wish I could Skype my parents for the occasion.
That, when my 4-year old says the darnedest things, I didn’t think of how much it would have amused my dad.
That when my little girl was born, I didn’t imagine my mum were there to meet her.
Grieving, I find, is an infinite process. I lost my parents and my heart was broken. Yet the world continues to spin on its axis and I continue on with my journey. It’s curious- I go through my life happily content and then someone does the most random of actions and my bubble collapses.

My existence is peppered with episodes of longing.
Wishing. Wanting. Needing.

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