Most recently I did something quite radical (for a practical
me, at least), I booked the two little kids extra days at childcare. I work three
days a week while the kids are at school/childcare. Normally on my days off work, I have
my two non-school age kids tagging along with me while we go about our errands.
I was T.I.R.E.D. and felt the urge of
taking a tiny break. (Two years ago, I did something similar- I travelled by myself to the US. I didn't think I could have afforded an overseas travel this time around). So for two days per week for one month, I had the whole
day to myself.
I was elated at the idea that I didn't have to be anywhere,
at anytime. For someone who has thrown the switch full-on to motherhood, there
was a chance I could have felt a teeny-weeny bit guilty. That anxious practical
side of me shouting that I’m spending too much money to be able to enjoy a
limited amount of time child-free. But, there was none of it!
There were a few mornings that I went back to bed after I've sent the kids off to
school. There were regular unhurried sessions at the gym. A lot of window shopping. Many
coffees by my lonesome. There were afternoons catching up on entertainment news
and reality show reruns. I downloaded romance eBooks - devouring every detail
no matter how cheesy, no matter how predictable. I even laid low on social network.
And you know what, it’s reassuring to affirm that I haven’t
forgotten just how to be myself, by myself. That underneath the all consuming cloak
of motherhood, when I get a chance at re-experiencing my child-free self, it
really is ‘all still there’.
