29 October 2013

a tiny break

Most recently I did something quite radical (for a practical me, at least), I booked the two little kids extra days at childcare. I work three days a week while the kids are at school/childcare. Normally on my days off work, I have my two non-school age kids tagging along with me while we go about our errands. I was T.I.R.E.D.  and felt the urge of taking a tiny break. (Two years ago, I did something similar- I travelled by myself to the US. I didn't think I could have afforded an overseas travel this time around). So for two days per week for one month, I had the whole day to myself.

I was elated at the idea that I didn't have to be anywhere, at anytime. For someone who has thrown the switch full-on to motherhood, there was a chance I could have felt a teeny-weeny bit guilty. That anxious practical side of me shouting that I’m spending too much money to be able to enjoy a limited amount of time child-free. But, there was none of it!

There were a few mornings that  I went back to bed after I've sent the kids off to school. There were regular unhurried sessions at the gym. A lot of window shopping. Many coffees by my lonesome. There were afternoons catching up on entertainment news and reality show reruns. I downloaded romance eBooks - devouring every detail no matter how cheesy, no matter how predictable.  I even laid low on social network.

And you know what, it’s reassuring to affirm that I haven’t forgotten just how to be myself, by myself. That underneath the all consuming cloak of motherhood, when I get a chance at re-experiencing my child-free self, it really is ‘all still there’.

"just because" roses from the hubby. 

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